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Yo momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction.
Yo momma so fat I had to take a train and two buses to get on the bitch's good side.
Yo momma so fat she sets off car alarms when she jogs.
Yo momma so fat she accidentally got a 747 stuck in her teeth.
Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo momma so fat she's gotta iron her pants on the driveway.
Yo momma so fat she hoola-hooped the Super Bowl.
Yo momma so fat she's gotta put on lipstick with a paintroller.
Yo momma so fat she put on some BVDs and by the time they reached her waist, they spelled out BouLeVard.
Yo momma so fat she stepped on a talking scale and it said, "Get the f*ck off!"
Yo momma so fat she wakes up in sections.
Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
Yo momma so fat she's got more Chins than the Hong Kong phone book.
Yo momma so fat she's on both sides of the family.
Yo momma so fat that when she hauls ass she has to make 2 trips.
Yo momma so fat that when she bungee jumps she brings down the bridge and goes straight to Hell.
Yo momma so fat that when she dances at a concert, the whole band skips.
Yo momma so fat that when she got hit by a bus she said, "Who threw that rock?"
Yo momma so fat she tripped on 4th Avenue and landed on 12th.
Yo momma so fat she saw a school bus go by and said, "Somebody stop that Twinky!"
Yo momma so funky her Sure deodorant is now confused.
Yo momma so funky she made Right Guard turn left.
Yo momma so funky she slowed down Speed Stick.
Yo momma so funky she used Secret and it told on her.
Yo momma so funky she has to sneak up on bath water.
Yo momma so old I told her to act her age and she died.
Yo momma so old she's blind from the Big Bang.
Yo momma so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.
Yo momma so short she jumped off the curb and died.
Yo momma so skinny she turned side-ways and disappeared.
Yo momma so stupid she's missing a finger and can't count past 9.
Yo momma so stupid I saw her in the frozen food section with a fishing rod.
Yo momma so stupid I saw her standing on an empty bus.
Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight.
Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone.
Yo momma so stupid she gets lost in thought.
Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved.
Yo momma so stupid she got stuck on an escalator for 3 hours.
Yo momma so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.  (Double-insult.)
Yo momma so stupid she ran after a parked car.
Yo momma so stupid she sat on a window ledge thinking she'd get framed.
Yo momma so stupid she thought menopause was a button on the stereo.
Yo momma so stupid she thought softball was a venereal disease.
Yo momma so stupid she tried to put M&Ms in alphabetical order.
Yo momma so tall she tripped in Chicago and hit her head in Miami.
Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her.
Yo momma so ugly she could scare a hungry wolf off a meat truck.
Yo momma so ugly her momma had to feed her with a slingshot.
Yo momma so ugly she had to sneak up on a glass of water.
Yo momma so ugly she had to sneak up on a hurricane to catch a breeze.
Yo momma so ugly she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.
Yo momma so ugly she could make a freight train take a dirt road.
Yo momma so ugly that even the tide won't take her out.
Yo momma so ugly that when she cries, the tears run UP her face.
Yo momma so ugly that when she jumped in the lake, the lake jumped back.
Yo momma's twice the man you are.
Yo momma's ass is so tight, only dogs hear it when she farts.
Yo momma's breath is so bad that when she yawns, her teeth duck.
Yo momma's glasses are so thick she can see into the future.
Yo momma's got so many teeth missing it looks like her tongue is in jail.
Yo momma's house is so dirty she has to wipe her feet to go outside.
Yo momma's house is so dirty the mice ride dirt bikes.