Stupid Quotes

"Here lies Captain Ernest Bloomfield. Accidentally shot by his orderly, March 2nd 1879. Well done, good and faithful servant."

- grave inscription of British soldier, in northwest frontier of modern-day Pakistan.

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"Here lies Jan Smith, wife of Thomas Smith, marble cutter. This monument was erected by her husband as a tribute to her memory and a specimen of his work. Monuments of this same style are two hundred and fifty dollars."

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"I want to gain 1,500 or 2,000 yards, whichever comes first."

- George Rogers, New Orleans Saints running back.

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"Our first move will be to decide what our first move will be."

- Wellington Mara, New York Giants president.

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"Last night I neglected to mention something that bears repeating."

- Ron Fairly, San Francisco Giants broadcaster.

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"He's trying to take the decision out of the hands of twelve honest men and give it to 435 Congressman!"

- Representative Charles Vanik of Ohio.

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"Benedict may not be hurt as much as he really is."

- Jerry Coleman, announcer for the San Diego Padres.

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"Bruce Sutter has been around for a while and he's pretty old. He's thirty-five years old. That will give you some idea of how old he is."

- Ron Fairly, San Francisco Giants broadcaster.

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Yogi Berra: "You mean you get seasick?"

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"In no way is it possible for a person to be in two places at the same time, especially if there is a great distance in between."

- Judge Amado Guerrero, Mexican Tenth District Federal Court.

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"I love sports. Whenever I can, I always watch the Detroit Tigers on the radio."

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"I read part of it all the way through."

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"Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left."

	Stupid Quotes "Here lies Captain Ernest Bloomfield. Accidentally shot by his orderly, March 2nd 1879. Well done, good and faithful servant." - grave inscription of British soldier, in northwest frontier of modern-day Pakistan. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Here lies Jan Smith, wife of Thomas Smith, marble cutter. This monument was erected by her husband as a tribute to her memory and a specimen of his work. Monuments of this same style are two hundred and fifty dollars." - epitaph composed by a marble cutter. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I want to gain 1,500 or 2,000 yards, whichever comes first." - George Rogers, New Orleans Saints running back. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Our first move will be to decide what our first move will be." - Wellington Mara, New York Giants president. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Last night I neglected to mention something that bears repeating." - Ron Fairly, San Francisco Giants broadcaster. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "He's trying to take the decision out of the hands of twelve honest men and give it to 435 Congressman!" - Representative Charles Vanik of Ohio. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Benedict may not be hurt as much as he really is." - Jerry Coleman, announcer for the San Diego Padres. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Bruce Sutter has been around for a while and he's pretty old. He's thirty-five years old. That will give you some idea of how old he is." - Ron Fairly, San Francisco Giants broadcaster. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Yogi Berra: "You mean you get seasick?" Rube Walker: "Do I ever!" Yogi Berra: "On water?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "In no way is it possible for a person to be in two places at the same time, especially if there is a great distance in between." - Judge Amado Guerrero, Mexican Tenth District Federal Court. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I love sports. Whenever I can, I always watch the Detroit Tigers on the radio." - President Gerald Ford. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I read part of it all the way through." - movie mogul Samuel Goldwyn. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left." - Gallagher, comedian