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Pump up the volume!!!

Just good ol' boys makin' noise.  And a girl makin' noise, too.  This site contains sound files from the "Road Rovers" series. (You can E-mail me if you can't get some of the files.)


Colleen: "Actually, 'Unta', that was one of your betta' landings."
Hunter: "Hey, thanks.  That's sweet."


Blitz: "Ah, I am disappointed.  No ninja tooshies to bite."
Exile: "You are one strange, funky dog-man."


Master: "Road Rovers, a new brand of evil has reared its ugly head."
Hunter: "Ah, man.  I liked the old brand."
Colleen: "Actually, the new brand of evil has more nuts."
Hunter: "Mmm..  Nummy."


Exile: "April day, April day!  We're going down!"
Blitz: "Don't you mean 'Mayday'?"
Exile: "May, June, July, who cares?!  We're in deep doggy doughnuts!"


Exile: "As you say in America, this is stinky!"


Hunter: "Bandicoot, cool."


Blitz: "Big Mama, this is King of Jungle.  I'll be there soon to rescue your beautiful cano-tush, ja."
Colleen: "Do I know you?"
Blitz: "Oh, not this again!"


Colleen: "Blimey, chasing cats.  That is SO immature."
Exile: "But we are dogs."
Hunter: "Yeah, some habits die hard."


Colleen: "Blimey!  I've seen some rude driva's in my time, but this one takes the cake!"
Blitz: "He is also licking our frosting!"
Exile: "You are disgusting!"


Colleen: "Blinky?  No, that's not it.  Don't tell me, I'll get it."
Blitz: "I'm starting to hate this bit."


Blitz: "Ho-ho-ho-ho!  Ach tun!  Who's the babe?"


Exile: "Blitz is missing!"
Colleen: "Ooh, Exile.  That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."
Exile: "Ah-ha-ha.  I'd say it again if you like."


Hunter: "Blitz, there are at least fifty of them, and only three of us."
Blitz: "Ja, one of us should stay behind to make it a fair fight.  I could be that one."
Exile: "You ARE that one."


Exile: "Boy, is beautiful."
Shag: *Whistles*
Exile: "Ooh-hoo-hoo.  Babushka!  Get load of those two!"
Hunter: "What are you guys lookin' at?"
Exile: "Forestry Illustrated, the Giant Redwood Issue.  He-he."
Exile and Shag: *Sigh*


Hunter: "You two DEFINITELY need a hobby."  (Continuation of boyitsbe.wav)


Exile: "Bull's-eye balls!  Piece of cupcake.  Easy as bean."


Exile: "Bolshoi!  My ice-maker's on the fritz!"


Blitz: "But I'm not a monsta'."
Man: "Are you a 6-foot-tall dog-man who talks?"
Blitz: "Yes."
Man: "Close enough."


Blitz: "But of course!  We are professionals, especially me.  I'm #1 in shoe-chewing, #1 in garbage sniffing, and of course, NO ONE can touch my tooshie-biting."
Exile: "Please, I have weak stomach."


Exile: "Cold War was never like this."
Blitz: "Ooh..  I'm feeling a little (???)."  (If you know what Blitz is saying here, tell me.)


Colleen: "Well there's not much to tell, really.  I'm Colleen.  Hello!  I was born in an early age, went to obedience school, and flunked papa' training, so watch your step.  My passions include chasing the mailman, squeaky toys shaped like bananas, and nice sizzling shanks of fatty pork.  Nummy!  Would ya' like to know more?"


Hunter: "Colleen, what are the odds of getting through the fence?"
Colleen: "According to my calcs, 1 in 17,002."
Hunter: "Oh, that bad!  We're dead!"

Comradea.wav (Movie file is in the "Videos" section.)

Exile: "Comrade, are you dokie-okie?  I was trying to stop mutant doggie men."
Blitz: *Snap*
Exile: "Ow!  Blitz bit me!"
Hunter: "OK, that's it.  You, mister, need a time-out.  As soon as we get back to headquarters, you're going straight to your room, young man!"
Blitz: "But he started it with his icy-eyeball thingy."
Hunter: "Well next time I want you to use your words!  We'll have no more fighting around here!"
Blitz: "You're singling me out."


Hunter: "Don't you kiss me."
Soldier: "I will not!  I will KILL you!"
Hunter: "Eh.. don't do that, either."


Colleen: "Let's see...  The odds of us gettin' away from these blokes scot-free...  Calculatin' all factors..  Are 1 in 3,007."
Hunter: "That bad, huh?  Doomed."


Colleen: "Eww, gross.  Blimey!  Do you know 'ow much trouble I go through every day to look this way?!"


Colleen: "Excuse me, fella'.  Care to dance?  Macarena!  Watusi!  Boogaloo!  The (???)!  The (???)!  The (???)!  The Mashed Potato!  Funky Chicken!"  (If you understand those 3 names in the middle, tell me what they are.)


Exile: "I do not understand this book called 'Go, Dog, Go'.  Why does the boy dog not like the hat of the girl dog?  Seems like perfectly fine hat."
Hunter: "Well you've gotta read the whole thing, Exile."
Exile: "Oh, there is payoff.  Ah!  I will read on."

Exilewhy.wav  (Continuation of "idonotun.wav")

Exile: *Bawling*
Hunter: "Exile, why are you cryin'?"
Exile: "I have finished my book and I am deeply moved by the joyous conclusion.  It turns out, the boy dog LIKED the hat of the girl dog very, very much."

Exilomic.wav  (The uncensored Russian Name Song.  The movie file is in the "Videos" section.)

Exile: "Exilo Michailovich Sandhusky."
Voice: "What kind of name is that?"
Exile: "It is Russian.  All Russian names are like this."
Colleen: "That's right.  Ya' see...
*Music starts*
Colleen: "Russian names are a kind of a game."
Exile: "There's a first and a last and a middle name."
Colleen: "Giving the first name is the mama's chore."
Exile: "Like Boris, Alexander, or Theodore."
Blitz: "Last name comes from the family."
Exile: "Like Pushkin, Basildroff, or Porfari."
Colleen: "With the middle name, now here comes the fun.  The papa gives his first name to the son."
Exile: "Then adds an '-ovich' or a '-yevich' to the end."
Blitz: "Here's an example so you'll comprehend."
Colleen: "The papa's name is Sonov, now here's the switch."
Exile: "The kid's middle name is Sonovovich."
All three: "Yes, the kid's middle name is Sonovovich, ja!"
*Lights go out*
All three: "Oops!"


Blitz: *Bones crunching* "Where in the Road Rover manual does it say we have to do THIS?"
Hunter: "The footnote on page 227."
Blitz: "Oh!  Fine print gets me every time!"


Exile: "Fly faster, Hunter!  Fly like a...  fly like a...  really fast thing that flies... FAST!!"
Hunter: "Whoa, Exile.  You have a way with words."
Exile: "Thank you, it is gift."


Exile: "According to legend of my ancestors, once victim is bitten or scratched, during full moon, he turns into raging, monstrous beast!"
Colleen: "Sounds like a fun day."


Colleen: "Get ready to crash."
Hunter: "Any other suggestions?"
Blitz: "Ja.  I suggest we all scream UNCONTROLLABLY!"
Hunter: "Sounds like a plan."
All Rovers: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!"


Colleen: "'Ave you considered additional Driver's Ed?"
Hunter: "We don't need additional drivers, and my name's not Ed."
Colleen: "Ah-ha-ha-ha.  Now THERE'S your comedy."


Colleen: "Oop.  The EPA's not gonna like this."
Hunter: "You're just a wealth of commentary today, aren't ya'?"
Colleen: "Just tryin' to stay comical.  Ya' know, ripped out of the day's 'eadlines?"


Hunter: "I would not have predicted this."
Colleen: "Your predictions are consistently off."
Hunter: "Oh, you've noticed?"
Colleen: "Put it this way...  The Psychic Hotline you're not."


Exile: "Hunter, do everything!  Turn, turn, turn!"
Hunter: "Hey, the Byrds did that tune, Exile.  I love that song."
Colleen: "Tuuuuurrrrnnnn!!!!!!!"
*Wheels screech, crash*
Hunter: "Colleen, I think that one was Janis Joplin!"


Blitz: "Hunta', have you gone daffy?!  You're driving us straight into the ocean!"
Hunter: "Aaahh!!  You're right!  We're gonna drown!  Aaaahhh!!
Blitz: "Aaaaaaa!!!!!!  Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!!"
Hunter: "Just kiddin', bro'."
Blitz: "You are messing with my head, puppy boy."

Hurts.wav  (Movie file is in the "Videos" section.)

Colleen: "Does this hurt?"
Exile: "Nyet."
Colleen: "Does this hurt?"
Exile: "Nyet."
Colleen: "Does this hurt?"
Exile: "Yah!  Da, da!"
Colleen: "I found out what 'urts!"


Blitz: "I feel pretty."
Exile: "I feel queasy!"


*Countdown from 9 in the background*
Hunter: "If we don't work outta here now, we're toast."
Colleen: "Do you like your toast with jam or honey?"
Hunter: "Uh, jam!  And don't call me 'Honey'."


Exile: "I give you cold shoulder, and cold head, cold back, cold tushie..."
Blitz: "Leave the tushies to me, and let the biting begin."


Exile: "I guess you're not such a weird boy after all."
Blitz: "You really mean that?"
Exile: "No, I'm just making conversation.  You're WAY Weird Boy."
Blitz: "Oh..."


Exile: "I'll have Cloud Rover fixed in two shakes of a lamb's jiffy!"
Hunter: "What's a lamb's jiffy?"
Colleen: "Don't ask."


Blitz: "I love it when you talk to me."
Colleen: "'Ave we been introduced?"
Blitz: "Sure, you know me."
Colleen: "Oh, right.  You're name is...  No, no, don't say it, let me think.  Blister?  No, Blighter."
Blitz: "Blitz."
Colleen: "No, no, no, that's not it."


Blitz: "I-I'm not really a Road Rover.  Ask her, she doesn't even know me."
Colleen: "Oh, I know him.  He's a Road Rover, all right."
Blitz: "What?!  What are you saying?!"
Colleen: "Oh, don't be so modest.  You know you're the #1 Road Rover.  You say so all the time."
Blitz: "No-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!!!"


Colleen: "Impressive.  But can you do this?" *Babbles*
Hunter: "Whoa!  Can you teach me to do that?!"
Colleen: "Nah, you gotta be born with it."
Hunter: "Lucky dog."


Blitz: "It's not fair.  I wanted to bite his tuckus first."
Exile: "We're here on business, Weird Boy, not pleasure."
Blitz: "Oh... never mind."


Exile: "Jingle Balls, Jingle Balls, jingle all the balls."
Shag: *Mumbles*
Exile: "What?  Jingle Bells?!  Never heard of it."


Colleen: "When do I get to drive?"
Hunter: "As soon as my license gets revoked."
Colleen: "Your pilot's license?"
Hunter and Colleen: "No, my dog license."
Colleen: "Y'know, I think we've done this joke."
Hunter: "Well that's true.  We're recycling."


Hunter: "Let me get this straight.  We save the world and a doggy biscuit is the thanks we get for a job well-done?"
Master: "That's about the size of it."
Hunter: "I love this gig!"


Hunter: "Well, lemme see..  I'm super-playful, super-loyal, super-trusting, and super-super-friendly.  Can I sniff ya'?"
Blitz: "No!!"
Hunter: "Well, OK, but that's part of what bein' super-friendly's all about."


Blitz: "Listen, I'm not really a Road Rover.  I was just going along for the ride.  Y'know, just for the fun of it?  I should be spared, y'know?!"
Soldier: "Nice try."


Colleen: "What do these aliens want?"
Hunter: "Well, they may be after our planet, or maybe they're after our brains."
Blitz: "Ooh, even mine?"
Exile: "Sure, it's the little things that count."


Exile: "I love being Road Rover.  Cars turn into boats, planes turn into subs.  Beat that bad guys!"


Blitz: "Maybe this is just a bad dream.  Ja, that's it, Blitz.  Just one too many 'Shpeilburg' movies.  Just keep telling yourself 'there's no place like home, there's no place like home'."
*Werewolf growls*
Blitz: *Crying* "I need ruby slippers!"
Exile: "You need analysis."


Exile: "Ohh.. I miss Mother Russia.  Father Russia I don't miss much, he was big grump.  But Mother Russia I miss.  Ohh.. Listen to the sad strains of the Balalaika.  I hate it, so SOMEBODY SHUT THAT THING UP!!"


Colleen: "Oh, I'd love to, 'Unter, really.  But we've run into a bit of a sticky-wicket, what."
Hunter: "Oh, hi.  You must be sticky, or are you wicket?  I always get you two confused."


Hunter: "OK, Rovers.  Let's do what dogs do."
Exile: "Sniff ourselves?"
Blitz: "Bite tushies."
Colleen: "Chase cats?"
Blitz: "Bite tushies?"
Exile: "Roll in garbage?"
Blitz: "Bite tushies?"
Hunter: "No, dig."


Master: "These monsters must be stopped.  So, Rovers, do you understand your mission?"
Rovers: "Yes, sir!"
Master: "Do you realize you will face great danger?"
Rovers: "Yes, sir!"
Master: "Do you realize that some of you may not return alive?"
Rovers: "Uhh..."
Hunter: "Uh, come again?"
Master: "Some of you may perish."
Colleen: "Perish?"
Hunter: "Whoa, whoa, whoa.  As.. as in 'perish'?  Uh, check please!"


Hunter: "Prepare for landing."
Blitz: "But Hunta', there's no runway."
Hunter: "Picky, picky."


Blitz: "Pretty she-dog, now that we're on speaking terms, why don't you and I take a stroll?  Just the two of us?"
Colleen: "Excuse me, but if you'd like an appointment, you'll have to call my service."
Blitz: "An appointment?  Aha-ah-ah.  I bet her schedule's all booked."


Hunter: "Don't sweat it, Shag.  Muzzle hasn't become human at all.  Aw, isn't that right, Muzzle.  Yeah, you're crazy, aren't you?  Yeah, OK, buh-bye.  Buddy o' mine."
Colleen: "Coo..  don't you 'ave the most interesting friends?"
Hunter: "I know.  I'm just.. lucky that way."


Exile: "Uh, you knowing how to fly this thing?"
Blitz: "Not a clue."
Exile: "Heh-heh.  Me, neither.  Oh, boy!  This is going to be funski!"


Hunter: "Yo, Exile.  Wake up, buddy.  Move it."
Exile: *Growls fiercely* "Quit 'Russian' me!"
Shag: *Whimpers*


Master: "Shag, you have been chosen."
Shag: "Who, me?"
Master: "Yes, you.  Now come."
Shag: *Grumbles*
Master: "Shag, now!"
Shag: *Whimpers*


Hunter: "...And...  Hey, Blitz.  What d'ya want to drink?"
Blitz: "Do they have peppermint milkshakes?"
Hunter: "Oh, yeah.  They got a big vat of those out back.  Make that six root beers.  Peppermint milkshakes..."


Hunter: "Whoa, Exile, when did you learn how to do that?"
Exile: "On cold Siberian nights, it comes in handy.  He-he."


Hunter: "So, how do you like my drivin'?"
Colleen: "Let me put it this way...  I hope the airbags work."
Hunter: "Aw, thanks.  That's nice."


Sport: "So let me get this straight.  You-you guys are gonna.. protect me, right?"
Blitz: "Calm down, scaredy dog.  No one will touch you.  I will bite their tushies first."
Sport: "You'd do that for me?"
Exile: "He'd do it for anyone."


Colleen: "Sorry.  That was uncalled for on my part.  You OK, Blitz?"
Blitz: "The name is Mr. Puffy-lips, but you can call me.. an ambulance."


Blitz: "Thank you, Exile.  I will never forget this.  I will love you always." *Kisses Exile 3 times on the cheek.*
Exile: "We need long talk."


Hunter: "Ugh, that stuff smells worse than your limburger-tuna melt, Shag."
Shag: *Growls*
Hunter: "OK, it's almost as bad."


Colleen: "That would be mean, sadistic, and cruel."
Hunter: "Is.. that a problem?"
Colleen: "Works for me."


Blitz: "The canine is a traitor!  He's shameless!  I can't believe anyone would ever turn on their friends and be such a wimpy baby!"
Hunter: "Oh, I can think of someone."
Exile: "And he's a Weird Boy!"


Exile: "The Groomer, she has lost case of baskets leaving many marbles."
Hunter: "OK.. sorta."

Theme1.wav (The original opening theme to the "Road Rovers".)

Theme2.wav  (The remake of the "Road Rovers" opening theme.)


Blitz: *Crying* "Before we die, I just want you to know that..  I love you!"
Exile: "Please.. consider.. therapy."
Blitz: "Huh?  D'oh!"


Hunter: "There's nothing here but empty space."
Exile: "Looking at x-ray of Blitz's brain?"
Colleen: "'Oo?" ("Who?")
Exile: "You know, Weird Boy."
Blitz: "OK, keep it up, Exile and the biting of the mushy parts will begin."
Colleen: "Ew."


Hunter: "The Sonic Rover is the fastest jet ever made."
Colleen: "How come you get to fly it?"
Hunter: "Heh, I have a license."
Colleen: "A pilot license?"
Hunter: "No, a dog license."


Exile: "This is how we say in Siberia, totally neato!"


Exile: "To our right side.. is gently smoking volcano.  To our left side.. is moonlit tropical beach.  And to our front side.. is enemy helichoppers coming straight at us!"


Colleen: "Ow.  That bung-hole tuckered me buns a bit, now."  (I think this is what she is saying.  If not, let me know.)
Hunter: "Yeah, what she said."


Colleen: "Well, hello!  And welcome to Road Rover Headquarters.  You must be one of the new cadets.  Glad to have you aboard."
Blitz: "No, you know me.  I'm Blitz."
Colleen: "No, no, no.  We like to give all our new cadets nicknames.  You know, funny nicknames that make us laugh.  Let's see, what can we call you?  Oh!  Here's one.  How 'bout 'Mr. Chubby-cheeks'?"
Blitz: "What?"
Colleen: "From now on, your name is Mr. Chester Chubby-cheeks."
Blitz: "OK, don't call me that."
Colleen: "Or maybe just 'Chubbikens' for short."
Blitz: "That's it.  I've had it with your little name-game.  Let the biting begin."


Hunter: "Who is he talking to all the time?!"


Blitz (Screaming): "Ah-ha-ha-ha!!"
Hunter: "Yet another unexpected twist.  Bummer."


Colleen: "You're welcome... Fluffy!"
Blitz: "I'm thinking of changing my name."
Exile: "But I like 'Fluffy'."


Hunter: "You wanna try one?"
Colleen: "Uh, maybe later.  In my next lifetime."
Hunter: "Cool, call me."